Sassy Fun: Smudgemama's Dream Come True

AVCO Cinema
Originally uploaded by smudgebaby.

So this was taken on 4/1/01 for the Joe Dirt movie premiere. Where the hell was I?! Dream come true...all three of them in the same area.

All pics were done by Barry King.

Sassy Me: 3 Things Quiz

Acquired from Susie who didn't officially tag anyone but gave all readers free reign.....so I tagged myself. :o)

Three names you go by:
Jen, Baby, Mommy

Three screen names you have had:
Peach654, fireblossom22, philjenmartin

Three physical things you like about yourself:
My eyes, my feet, my smile

Three parts of your heritage:
Portuguese, German, Greek

Three things that scare you:
Thinking about harm that might come to my children, the cost of real estate, the way people treat each other

Three things you're wearing now:
Jeans, undereye bags, messy hair (don't I sound like the picture of beauty?!)

Three of your favorite bands or musical artist:
Gretchen Wilson ('cause she not only understands girls like me, but she sings for us), Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock (sorry, but I love the dude)

Three of your favorite songs:
Sittin' By the Dock of the Bay-Otis Redding, Amazing Grace, Angel-Sarah McLaughlin

Three things you want in a relationship:
Loyalty, humor, great sex

Two truths and a lie (which one is a lie?)
I'm a published writer, I'm the third child in a family of all girls, I want two more kids to add to my four (LIE...BIG LIE!!!!)

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
Eyes (they have to twinkle when they smile), Smile (needs to be sexy and playful), legs (muscularly defined).

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Writing (that includes journaling, essays and fiction), reading (which includes for entertainment and for learning),mixed media collages

Three things you want to do badly right now:
Hire a babysitter, hire a maid, take a daytrip

Three careers you're considering:
These are three careers I dream about--Ballerina, Actress, Artist (a girl can dream can't she?)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
A pilgrimage to all the Virgin Mary shrines in Europe(namely Portugal and France), Ashland, Oregon (bet it'd be neat to visit there as a tourist instead of finding a way to pay the mortgage while living there), New York

Three kids' names you like:
Sasha, Tucker, Ariel

Three things you want to do before you die:
See my children become parents and spend time with the grandkids, travel with Phil, get my degree so I can help others

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
I'm with Susie on this one...love the purses and shoes, love getting made-up, get mushy over nearly everything.

Three celebrity crushes:
My newest is Patrick Dempsey....he is somethin' else on Grey's Anatomy, Josh Lucas (he was Reese Witherspoon's Alabama husband in Sweet Home Alabama) and Owen Wilson.

Sassy Me: My alter ego

Every so often I get mail for "Genevieve Martin." Clearly, a misprint as my name is Jennifer Martin. But I always get a kick out of it. I like to think of Genevieve as my alter ego and this is what I'd expect her to be like:
-nicely styled hair..definitely uses hot curlers daily
-made up cosmetically but not overdone
-oozes sex appeal (well, duh...she's an alter ego)
-she has the means and the ability to drop everything and travel to exotic or not-so-extoic locations at a moment's notice
-She does not do one-night-stands (well, shit, neither do I)
-She isn't "into" designer names but will spot something and snatch it up if it makes her feel beautiful and is quality, if a designer name comes with it, so be it
-She's confident and independent
-She has moxie...but she also has very good judgement so her moxie always is directed correctly (unlike me who moxies all over the place)

That's Genevieve...my alter ego.

As soon as I find those raggedy holed jeans that forced me to do the horrid jean shopping mentioned prior, I am going to do this with them. I can't wait!

Sassy Me: Jean-Shopping

That I am actually not interested in "normal" people. "Normal" equals "boring and fake" to me. So that last answer on my evaluation/quizzie thing below isn't at all true. NOPE.

So I went jeans shopping today because the knees on one of my three pairs decided to run in different directions and it is such a bitch to get my foot down a pant leg when it keeps getting hijacked by the knee hole. Plus I'm -5 on the Grace Scale so dressing in itself is always interesting. Ballet lessons starting in June should help that or I'll end up looking like that damn hippo in a tutu on the cartoons.

Oh..in regards to Hippos....back to the jean shopping. I used to be size 2. I was 2 and tiny. Then I was size 3 after having Skyler and Dylan. After Lucas I hovered at 5. After Cassidy I was 5 also....but now Cassidy is a year old and I'm a 9!!! From size 2 to size 9 in 10 years.

I have some sort of dysmorphic disorder opposite of that which anorexics suffer from. See I assume I'm small. I assume my ass hasn't spread. I see size 5 jeans and I worry (oh geez...how embarrasing) that they will be too big. So I take a pair of size 5 jeans to the dressing room and get one leg in. That's it. Because the other pant leg was collapsed and drawn taut. It had no plans of stretching out. And considering my -5 Grace Factor I wasn't even going to try. It was obvious....THESE JEANS WERE NOT WOMAN ENOUGH FOR MY HIPS AND ASS. So I deemed the size 5 jeans the "evil, wimpy and immature wastes of denim" jeans. That's alright because just in case, I brought a size 7 pair with me. I slip those puppies on and they glide right up my legs until the hips, which requires tugging and coercing. I finally get them past my hips and over my ass and the freakin' waist can't meet. Won't meet. REFUSES TO MOTHER-FUCKING MEET! It's not me, it's the jeans. They are not cooperative. They are the 6 year old in the grocery store whining about candy that they NEVER EVER get because YOU DON'T LOVE THEM. Size 7 jeans are deemed the "I'm Okay, You're A Brat" jeans and left with "evil, wimpy, immature wastes of denim" at the fitting room desk.

I sought out a pair of size 9 jeans that seemed entirely too big and didn't even try them on.

Now, perhaps, you think I'm whining. Perhaps you think size 9 isn't something to complain about. Well let me leave you with this closing thought...size 9 ass/hips IS really that bad with a dress-size 3 torso/chest. Thank you very much. Now you see my problem.