Procrastination
What I *should* be doing right now is forming my final project for a class that I am pulling a 69% in. Nausea and family upset distracted me. I would think that it distracted me equally from both of the classes I am taking, yet I have a 96% in the other class, Fundamentals of Grammar and Editing. As it turns out, I love editing. To be more precise, I love editing OTHER'S writing. I personally don't believe in editing myself. Ever. Which is probably why I currently have a 69% in Ethics.
Don't let that fool you. I can be quite ethical. But it is hard, excruciatingly hard, for me to remain unbiased. I have my opinions and I believe them to be right. Otherwise, they wouldn't be (duh) my opinions. This type of attitude didn't bode well for me in a class where we had to come up with a group consensus weekly. I don't really like working with others because most people bug me. It's nothing personal. They are just idiots. And it bugs me further that I am in school with others who really need a refresher course in high school and don't have any business trying to form an essay at the college level. Again, not the attitude that my professor was looking for in his students. To his credit, though, he did a lot of fun class videos where he got people to act out the ethical dilemmas and he also made up crosswords and other word games to use in learning the current week's terminology. Great guy.
So, last I left off about my pregnancy is that I was nauseated 24/7. This remained to be true for a couple weeks, in which each day got progressively worse until I finally had to carry a bucket or bag with me everywhere I went because I was continually vomiting. I whined to my doctor at my first prenatal appointment, telling her that with each pregnancy I get worse nausea. She gave me suppositories. Groan if you must, but if sticking a waxy bullet where the sun doesn't shine (until now, of course) keeps me from hyperemesis (spelling?), I'll take it. I mean, you can see my dilemma: Continually barf out the mouth or stick a plug in the butt...which would you take?
So I can eat now. Which is good. I'm much less likely to kill people if my blood sugar levels are normal. I was beginning to think that I was going to be alright, until this damn heat wave came along. I can't handle the heat.
There is one huge reason I left Sacramento and that is the heat. And the fact that we lived in the ghetto. But I could have hung in the ghetto far longer if it was snowing or raining all the time. It was truly the 100+ degree heat that sent me whining far from South Sac. So I can't be for sure that I am no longer homicidal. Sure, I can eat, but it is so damned hot I still feel like running pedestrians over. Rude of them to make me slow down when I am trying to keep the wind tunnel effect going in the van. Plus, the wind noise drowns out the kids arguing with each other about the Nintendo DS, Nintendo Game Boy, the Playstation Portable and the current presidential candidates. All nonsense if you ask me.
I find it funny that anytime I am sick I play this game with myself. I always say, "Jennifer, if you can ever eat again without feeling sick to your stomach, be grateful. Never take it for granted ever again." This game started during my strep throat years (circa 1987-1992) in which I would replace "eat again" with "swallow without pain." I swore that for each day I could swallow without it feeling like I was swizzeling razor blades I would be eternally grateful. Down on my knees praising God and Jesus and all the healing saints in the world for the ability to...ahhh...swallow. Everyday. I think the gratitude lasted five minutes after the antibiotics kicked in.
So I keep saying to myself now, "Jennifer, when you are no longer pregnant, feel grateful for having a somewhat normal body with somewhat normal body functions." Wait...who am I kidding? I'm always pregnant.
Don't let that fool you. I can be quite ethical. But it is hard, excruciatingly hard, for me to remain unbiased. I have my opinions and I believe them to be right. Otherwise, they wouldn't be (duh) my opinions. This type of attitude didn't bode well for me in a class where we had to come up with a group consensus weekly. I don't really like working with others because most people bug me. It's nothing personal. They are just idiots. And it bugs me further that I am in school with others who really need a refresher course in high school and don't have any business trying to form an essay at the college level. Again, not the attitude that my professor was looking for in his students. To his credit, though, he did a lot of fun class videos where he got people to act out the ethical dilemmas and he also made up crosswords and other word games to use in learning the current week's terminology. Great guy.
So, last I left off about my pregnancy is that I was nauseated 24/7. This remained to be true for a couple weeks, in which each day got progressively worse until I finally had to carry a bucket or bag with me everywhere I went because I was continually vomiting. I whined to my doctor at my first prenatal appointment, telling her that with each pregnancy I get worse nausea. She gave me suppositories. Groan if you must, but if sticking a waxy bullet where the sun doesn't shine (until now, of course) keeps me from hyperemesis (spelling?), I'll take it. I mean, you can see my dilemma: Continually barf out the mouth or stick a plug in the butt...which would you take?
So I can eat now. Which is good. I'm much less likely to kill people if my blood sugar levels are normal. I was beginning to think that I was going to be alright, until this damn heat wave came along. I can't handle the heat.
There is one huge reason I left Sacramento and that is the heat. And the fact that we lived in the ghetto. But I could have hung in the ghetto far longer if it was snowing or raining all the time. It was truly the 100+ degree heat that sent me whining far from South Sac. So I can't be for sure that I am no longer homicidal. Sure, I can eat, but it is so damned hot I still feel like running pedestrians over. Rude of them to make me slow down when I am trying to keep the wind tunnel effect going in the van. Plus, the wind noise drowns out the kids arguing with each other about the Nintendo DS, Nintendo Game Boy, the Playstation Portable and the current presidential candidates. All nonsense if you ask me.
I find it funny that anytime I am sick I play this game with myself. I always say, "Jennifer, if you can ever eat again without feeling sick to your stomach, be grateful. Never take it for granted ever again." This game started during my strep throat years (circa 1987-1992) in which I would replace "eat again" with "swallow without pain." I swore that for each day I could swallow without it feeling like I was swizzeling razor blades I would be eternally grateful. Down on my knees praising God and Jesus and all the healing saints in the world for the ability to...ahhh...swallow. Everyday. I think the gratitude lasted five minutes after the antibiotics kicked in.
So I keep saying to myself now, "Jennifer, when you are no longer pregnant, feel grateful for having a somewhat normal body with somewhat normal body functions." Wait...who am I kidding? I'm always pregnant.
posted by Jen Spedowfski-Martin at
5:08 PM
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