Writing: Motherf--ker Stole My Lunch!

NOTE: Listen, first and foremost I have to give Susie all the credit for introducing the blogging community to the phrase "Motherf--ker stole my lunch!" If you don't understand what it really means, perhaps you haven't read Susie's blog enough. I'd give you the direct link to the exact post but I've got four kids, a job, a husband, a house and all sorts of other fun shit to contend with. But take my word for it, you will be highly rewarded by gobs and gobs of funny stuff that makes you giggle if you take the time to read through her posts to find the meaning of "Motherf--ker stole my lunch!"


Here's my story:

So...what is it now....about four or five months that I've been blogging? So I'm still new and learning and trying to get html, css, meta tags, search engines and all the blogging tools into my brain and in a good order. Little by little, I've made my way. But I've found search engines (especially Google) very discouraging. So as lame as I know it is, I like to double-check every so often and do a "Smudgebaby" search to see if I ever, ever, ever show up.

Recently I bought www.smudgebaby.com Don't go there, it's pathetic right now. Fine go there, but keep your laughter to a dull roar because if you wake up Pebbles it won't be pretty. Basically we've got a strict "You break her, you buy her" policy here.

So after trying to move my blog to my new website (not easy...at least not easy with my limited knowledge) I gave up. And then I felt stupid, because now what am I going to do with this other website? I thought, "Geez, buying the domain name could have waited....because really, how popular is the name 'Smudgebaby' after all?" After a day of bashing myself, I figured, oh what the hell, better safe than sorry and I'm sure I'll learn more someday and be able to post there or do something with it.

And then guess what? A Motherf--ker stole my lunch! Oh yes, he did.

I was doing one of my innocent random searches the other night to see if Google's bot (which seems to operate ALOT like DMV personnel) had finally found me and this comes up:

http://smudgebaby.tripod.com

What? How? Why? When?

Smudgebaby is me and I am Smudgebaby. What. Is. This. Other. Thing. Also. Called. Smudgebaby?!

Did I have a twin at birth and mother only kept me? How can this be....another Smudgebaby?

So as any flabbergasted Smudgebaby would do, I went to visit this site. It turns out to be a website for an actor, writer or something. And it is only one page with links that don't work and is under construction.

But being the fair Smudge that I am, I decided to read the page and see, maybe, by some weird possibility that the word "Smudgebaby" was in there, aside from just being in the web address.

Nope. I am willing to venture that I might have missed it in my identity crisis frenzy but really, I saw no "smudgebaby" around. I was looking for anything, possibly a sentence along the lines of, "The other day I was walking and I saw an peculiar looking bird on the sidewalk. (*Ed. Note: See this could very well have been me!) Once I arrived home and looked it up in my Bird Encyclopedia, I found it's name to be 'Smudgebaby.'" See...I could have handled that.

But no mention of Smudgebaby except in the web address....I don't know Scooby...something seems wrong to me.

So I am left with the feeling of "Motherf--ker stole my lunch." And thank you Susie, because before I read your posts I wouldn't be able to express myself so eloquently. I might have resulted to, "Dirty freakin' assholes, what the f--k?!" "Motherf--ker stole my lunch" is so much more appropriate for this situation.